Accepting

Yesterday my husband and I went for a two mile run.  The temperature was in the low 80’s, it was humid and a light drizzle fell.  I thought it felt like a tepid sauna.  I was determined to give this short run all my energy and see if I could break through a wall I’ve hit recently.  Unfortunately, I had no luck.

Last year around this time, I discovered the “chi” posture in running.  I started running using the posture as much as I could.  It takes a little more effort and although it cut a minute off my 10 minute mile, I had to build up to do it and could only run a mile in that posture.  I wanted to do more!  I wanted to do 5K in 27 minutes.  How awesome would that be? I love finishing in first half of 5K race!  With a 9 minute mile, I could finish in the top half quite a bit!

Things happen.  Poopoo occurs.  The hypochondria kept nagging me, at times knocking me out of exercise completely.  I tried everything to get past it and finally, when the hypochondria kept me from working, I went to the doctor.

After just one test, the problem was found.  I know WHAT is wrong and that helps me mentally, but it has knocked me backwards in my exercise and physical activity.  I know the doc doesn’t want me to run but he would not come out and tell me to stop.  He said being out of shape and overweight would be worse on my back than running.  He advised me not to increase the number of days I run each week and not to increase my miles.

Ok, fine.  My goal of running a 10K is no longer a goal.

So why have I gone from a 9 minute mile to a 12.5 minute mile?  That is all I can do.  I track my running and for the past 8 weeks, all I can manage is 12.5 minute miles whatever  my distance.

My glass is always half full, no matter what, so I don’t berate myself and kick my own ass over this decline in abilities.  I do believe I can get better if I just work at it.  I believe if I lost a few pounds, it would be easier to run.  I have a BMI that the internet says is the high end of “normal” so I know I can lose a few pounds and still be normal.  There’s no worry about me ever being underweight, I love chocolate and BBQ tater chips too much for that.

I need to push myself more.  I get a little winded on the route and I walk for a minute or two.  See, not only do I have the issue with my back, my hypochondria is more involved.  I am anemic.  So I have a good excuse to walk, my cells aren’t getting enough oxygen.  Don’t forget the arthritis in my feet.

So I have all these medical reasons for not running a 9 mile mile, hell, I’ve got enough doctor’s notes to file for disability and take to the bed.

I really want to get back to where I was last year.  But part of me knows that if I don’t, I have to accept the 12.5 minute mile and be thankful I can even do that.  I really don’t want to accept it, but I may have to.

I think every aspect of running is like life in general.  There are things in our lives that we enjoy, that we want, that mean a lot to us.  But what if something happens to take that away or diminish it?  You can beat yourself up over it, bang your head against the wall to change it or accept it and be happy.

There are some that would argue we should never accept less, we shouldn’t settle, we should never be complacent.  I’m not doing any of those things.  I want to do better, but the fact is s you can’t “think positive” your way out of the absolutes in life.   I have friends who have been happily married and then blindsided with a divorce.  What then?  Do your best to make it work, but if it doesn’t, accept it and move on.  What about losing your job?  You have a job you love, coworkers you adore and boom!  You’re laid off.   You have to move forward, but you have to accept your loss.

I’m not really happy about that 12.5 minute mile.  I don’t want to accept it and by George I’ll do my best to do better.  But there are things worse than a 12.5 minute mile that I am not facing right now and for that, I’ll be happy. If I must, I will accept my 12.5 minute mile and just be happy I finished the 5K, no matter what half I’m in.  After all, I still have my glass and it is always AT LEAST half full.

Today

49 years, 1 week and 3 days old.

Degenerative Disc Disease

Protruding disc in lower back pressing into nerves

Constant, consistent low back pain

Arthritis in feet

Anemic

Stress incontinance

Wind

Rain

Traffic

Two miles in 25 minutes and 2 seconds

I’ll take it.

Blinded by the Light

The first breath I took this morning at 6:30 am bit the inside of my nose. 

It was 24 degrees outside when I stepped out my garage for my morning run.  This morning’s temperature was one of the coldest I have attempted to tackle with a morning run.  The plus was there was no wind, so 24 was what it felt like.

The days are getting a bit longer and the sun is rising a bit earlier each morning.  Just a few weeks ago, I completed my warm up laps in the dark and set out eastward on the highway in time to see the orange sun breaking through the trees as it rose above the horizon. 

This morning the prettiest part of the sunrise – the breaking into day – occured during my warm ups.  By the time I stepped out on the highway heading east, the sun was up above the trees, no longer orange, but a bright blindingly beautiful yellow.

As I ran toward the rising sun, I couldn’t help but just look toward it. I became mesmerized by the bright light.  I watched the light streaming through the trees in the distance as it slowly climbed higher in the sky.  I was oblivous to what was around me.  I felt my feet hit something not so smooth and looked down to see I was running across a bit of rocks. 

At that point, I thought about how running is an analogy of life in general.  How often do we set out on a course and get blinded by something wonderful on the horizon?  The most common “blinding” we here about is “blinded by love.”  How true it is that when someone falls in love/lust, they are blinded to their surroundings.  They don’t see the rocks and boulders under their feet, the warning signs they are not on the right path, because they are looking into the beautiful light and not seeing anything else.

Once the sun is up over head and we begin to look around us again, we see the everyday things that were there all along.  That’s when we realize we took a wrong turn, or the detour we took to prolong our view of the blinding light leads down a dead end road.

It’s not just in the matters of love that we are blind.  Sometimes we are fine right where we are, but we see the blinding light of a new job that seems so perfect.  Promises are made, all we see is the good.  We don’t look away from the too good opportunity long enough to see what is really on the road right in front of us.  How many times do people abandon what they have for a promise of better things and then realize they are in the same boat?  Or out of the frying pan and into the fire?

That’s not to say that we should never take risks to better ourselves.  But maybe we need to take our eyes off the blinding sun long enough to assess where we are and what we are doing.

Running toward the rising sun this morning blinded me to the potholes and rocks along my route.  I took a 1/2 mile loop detour off the east bound route right at the one mile mark.  On this short loop, I couldn’t see the sun, I was among trees and houses.  I could see the road before me, all the rocks and holes.  Once I got back to the eastbound highway, the sun was higher in the sky and not directly in my eyes, blinding me to all that was around me.  I had a better perspective of where I was and the road in front of me. 

Maybe that is a life lesson.  When you are speeding toward the bright light of love, a huge life change, debt or slaming the door on a relationship, maybe you need to take the 1/2 mile loop off the blinding path to get your perspective and your eyesight back.

Arrival

Welcome to Denver, where the local time is one hour later than your body clock and the temperature is cold and there is not enough air for you to breathe.

Right after I sent my letter to Northwest, I got a love text stating my first class upgrade had been confirmed.  I believe Northwest still loves me.

I felt like a flying virgin today and had a few faux pas along the way.  Before I confess my faux pas, I must put out my disclaimer that I am under more stress than usual and having a bit of struggle keeping my cats herded. 

Stress #1:  Someone came in my house last week allegedly to rob and pillage.  Only problem was that I was at home when they came in.  I didn’t come face to face with my visitors as they were probably as scared of me as I was of them.  When I realized someone was in my house and so was I, I grabbed my keys, got in my car and drove straight to the police station.

Stress #2:  I love to bitch about my aching back because that makes me feel like I am doing something about it.  However, it has become progressively worse over the past few months and all the bitching in the world is not helping it any more.  I hate taking pain pills worse than I hate leather car seats so the doctor decided rather hear me whine and complain about pain but not taking pain pills, he sent me for an MRI. 

The MRI results came back and I did not get the news I wanted.  I’ll report back after I see the neurosurgeon next week.  I am not happy.

Stress #3: A text message from my brother as I was speeding to the airport this afternoon.  “4 soldiers killed by ied in Nephew’s unit.  Not him. Waiting for call, unit on lockdown.”

That’s not the kind of message I want to read or see although I am very aware that message was really good news in a really bad way.

I can’t stand thinking about my 21 year old nephew manning artillery in Mosul.  If I picture him in his uniform, with his child like face smiling at me, standing in that hot desert, well, I can’t think about it.  I imagine many military families struggle with knowing their solider is brave and doing right thing and having pride in them to dying on the inside because you want them out of harm’s way. 

Mr. New President – if you’re reading this, I want our soliders home, OK? 

So by the time I got to the airport, I was half upset, very stressed and not fully focused on the tasks at hand. 

I have a method, a procedure, a way I do things to keep my travel as simple as possible.  I park at the same place.  I go in the same entrance to the airport.  I put my boarding pass and ID in the same place.  I check in, go to the ATM and the potty.  Then I go through security.  I have a system.

Today I didn’t follow my system and couldn’t find my driver’s license when I got to the potty.  I forgot to take my one quart zip lock bag of liquids less than 3 oz out of my bag for xray.  I forgot where the newsstand was located.  But once I got my coffee and newspaper, I settled down a bit and the rest of the trip improved.

The flight was a bit bumpy and I was not pleased.  The flight attendant came around with a basket of goodies and offered each first class passengar his or her choice.  I know what is in the goody basket and I was looking forward to my snack size Twix and banana.  However.  The guy next to me grabbed the last banana!  Asshat!  I wanted that banana! 

He didn’t eat my banana right away, he put it in his seat back pocket.  I stared at my banana and wondered if there was a way I could created a diversion of some sort and grab my banana out of his possession.  I waited to see if he would go to the lavoratory, giving me the opportunity to not only claim my banana, but eat it before he could tattle on me to the flight attendant.  I waited..  He didn’t go anywhere.  I turned my evil thoughts inward and decided if I couldn’t eat my banana, I would make his ride as unpleasant as possible.

So I pulled my Fiber One bar out of my purse, ate it hurriedly, guzzled the rest of my bottled water, tilted my ass toward him and let the fiber do its job.  I bet he’ll think twice before he grabs the last banana out of the goody basket.

The minute the plane door opened and the Denver air rushed in, I recognized it.  If I were in a room blindfolded, I could breathe in that air and know it was Denver.  There’s no other air that feels or smells like the air in Denver.  That is a good thing on many levels, one of which is there is not enough air in Denver, so I’m glad that is unique to Denver.

I went down the escalator to board the tram to baggage claim.  You know those trams, don’t you?  A spiffed up subway.  As we stopped at terminal B, a family consisting of a daddy and mommy were approaching the tram to get on.  The mommy had a baby less than a year old in her arms along with a huge diaper bag.  As the family approached the trams, the doors started closing.  Dad sped up and jumped into the tram leaving mommy and baby behind.  Mommy started to come through, another passengar on the tram lept to the door as it was closing to keep it from closing on Mommy and Baby.  Mommy jumped back and looked at dad in sheer fright.  He sheepishly grinned at her from inside the tram and shrugged his shoulders.  ASS HOLE.  ASS HOLE.  ASS HOLE.  I was sorry I used all my fiber on the banana guy.

Once I collected my 34 pound suitcase, I went to the rental car curb where the Budget Rental Car bus was waiting.  The bus was less than half full when I got on board.  A family approached the bus and the driver stopped them.  This couple also had a young child and more shit than either one of them could carry.  Stroller, car seat, 3 suitcases, diaper bag, various carry-ons, a hanging bag, I couldn’t figure out how they were transporting it all without a pack mule.

The driver told them the bus was full and they’d have to wait for the next one.  He told a fib.  Our bus was not full.  But honestly, if I were him, I would not have wanted to struggle with all that shit either. 

It is snowing in Denver tonight, a thick wet snow that blows under the awning of the hotel.  I used to come Denver once a month or so but it has been over 2 years since I have been here.  I like Denver, I have missed coming out here.  I think I could live here if they’d just get some more air.

Games You Can Play with Your Brain

Not crosswords or sudoko. 

 As one gets old, one’s eyesight is not what it used to be.   If I ever get asked the question, “what is the worst part of aging?” I will not answer with sagging body parts, aches and pains, wrinkles, forgetting stuff or even menopause.  To me the absolute worst thing in the world about aging is losing my perfect eyesight.  ARGH!

I’ve worn glasses for about 8 years now.  Bi-focals. 

I started out just putting on the glasses when I needed to read something.  I found that I was constantly putting them on and pulling them off, which causes wear and tear and a short life for the rather pricey glasses.  I tried wearing them all the time but had problems.  I could not adjust to the blurriness when I looked down during everyday activities.  Once I had the bi-focals on as I rushed through the Atlanta airport.  I looked down to get on the escalator and it was blurry.  I stumbled getting on the moving steps.

I took a year off from bi-focals  a while back and used cute little reading glasses I could buy anywhere. This worked really well for a while.  I bought several cheap pair and stashed them everywhere.  I could flip them on and off and if they broke, hey, $5 would buy another pair. 

However.  I began experiencing frequent headaches I attributed to the glasses.  My vision had also grown worse, and I was on my second step of stronger reading glasses.  I went to the optometrist and got new bi-focals.

I’ve had those new bi-focals a year and a half now.  I have problems with those.  I cannot read without the glasses and resigned myself to wearing them all the time.  The glasses are always crooked on my face.  They are always smudged and dirty.  When a light shines on my glasses, all I can see are fingerprints.  When I am driving during the day, I must wear sunglasses.  I have always felt my eyes were too sensitive to the sunlight.  When my cell phone rings, I can’t see the screen.  If I have to glance at directions, I can’t read them.

The turning point came in the fall on business trip in Kansas.  I was driving west to Topeka when the sun was setting.  I had the mapquest directions printed out.  The sun was blinding me beyond anything I’ve ever experienced.  The glare was so bad I could not read the signs on the interstate.  With my sunglasses on, I could not read my directions.  It was miserable and I got lost.  I knew something had to change.

I decided that I would invest in a pair of prescription sunglasses on my next visit to the optometrist.   By that time I also knew I hated glasses.  It is not a vanity thing.  Actually, I think I look rather smart in glasses. 

My husband and I attended a community Thanksgiving service in November.  It was dark when we walked up to the unfamiliar church.  The church had spotlights shining on the front of the building.  As I walked into the light to enter the church, all I could see was the dirt on my glasses and I missed a step and stumbled.  I tried to remind myself you are not supposed to cuss in church.

I sat next to a lady that I did not know.  I made a comment about my dirty glasses and my stumble.  She was a bit older than me and did not have on glasses.  She told me about her solution – monovision.  One contact for up close and one for distance. 

I have heard about monovision before from a coworker in Chicago.  It sounded so unusual I thought it was something only big city people knew about, but here we were, right in the middle of the sticks, and someone not only knew about it, but used it.  She told me an eye doctor in our town fixed her up with the solution.

I did my research into bi-focal contacts on the internet and learned more about contacts than I ever expected to know.  I made the appointment in early December to be fitted with contacts.

Due to my eyesight, the doc had to experiment with different combinations and strengths of contacts.  Every week I went to him and every week he changed the contact prescription.  My poor brain got a work out.  He told me to leave the contacts in for the week, no matter what so my brain could adjust.

My brain is old and is worn out.  It doesn’t like being played and rebelled accordingly.  One week, anything farther than 10 feet from me was extremely blurry.  This had it advantages, though.  All men look much better when blurred.  Also, our church was decorated in candles and lights for Christmas, so the blurred vision made it hauntingly beautiful. 

One week I couldn’t see up close, but he told me to keep trying.  I squinted and frowned and did my best to focus until the headaches got me.

After 5 weeks of experimenting, we “settled” on the best we can do.  My vision is no where near perfect.  I can see distances OK, but there is better clarity without the contacts.  My close up vision is tolerable most of the time.  I changed the settings on my cellphone to LARGE fonts so I can see what’s on the screen. 

I  frown and squint all the time in an effort to read my computer screen and any books or newspapers.  The doc says my vision and brain will adjust and I’ll eventually see better, or it will seem that way any way.

I love the freedom of contacts.  I can wear sunglasses, I’m not taking glasses on and off all the time.  When they are attached to your eyeballs, you don’t have to get up and look for them in the mornings. I sleep in them so there is no maintenance really.  I am supposed to change them every 2 weeks.  I’m trying to stick with this and give my brain time to get on board with it.

But last night I took the contacts out to let them soak overnight in their solution.  Right now I have my glasses on and the clarity I have is  a miracle.  There is no squinting and frowning, everything on my computer screen, around my desk and even the tree I can see out the window is perfectly clear. 

Sigh.  This is another of the little battles.  I’m really rooting for the contacts, but I’m not sure they are going to win this one.

Little Battles

Don’t you just love to win?

I’ll put the disclaimer right up front:  I’m not a highly competitive person.  I’m no fun in board games because I play and enjoy the game.  If I lose I don’t care.  The only “thing” I try to beat when I run is my last time on that route. My dear husband, on the other hand, is HIGHLY competitive.  He really gets into a card or board game.  He loves to beat me running even though he is the only one who notices when he does so.  He is not a sore loser, in spite of his assholeness competitive spirit.  When he loses he says nothing.  Sometimes I think I would rather him be a sore loser than what he actually is:  an obnoxious winner.

The scenario:  a game of friendly Uno among the family.  The game goes on.  He yells and hollers every time something exciting (in his opinion) happens.  He is so obnoxious that people are trying to help him win just so the game and his obnoxiousness will be OVER.  Then he finally wins.  He dances around, gleefully yelling and laughing and carrying on and picking on the losers.  Generally the losers are just glad the damn game is over and his incessant loud gloating gets on everyone’s last nerve.  He interprets our annoyance with him as our sorrow in being defeated by him, so he continues.   Let’s just say not many people are willing to play cards with him.  The entire family was very happy last year when his sister beat him at ping pong the first time she played him.  That has tremendously helped his obnoxiousness at the ping pong table.  Maybe she needs to challenge him to an Uno play off.

Anyway, let’s get back to my post.

We all have little struggles in our lives, whether it be little things like getting up when the alarm goes off, to battling illness and hardship.  I fight a personal battle every year at this time and as of right now, I seem to be winning which makes me very happy.  It is the battle of SAD.

Maybe you’ve heard of the “winter blues”?  Well, the winter blues got its own name in the medical books years ago:  Seasonal Affective Disorder. There are actual physical reasons for it, its not just all in the head.  I fight it every year after Christmas.  It lasts until spring.  I hate it.  I sometimes wish I was a bear so I could just sleep through the winter and skip it.

SAD makes me sad.  My husband says that I get very pale during this time and he calls me Casper.  I have no energy – physical or mental.  I have no interest in wearing make up or fixing my hair unless I am forced to.  My work productivity drops to dangerous levels.  I do not want to exercise, although I can kick my own ass out the door and do it anyway.  It is just a miserable feeling and it lasts for months.

Every year I begin dreading the arrival of SAD right after Christmas.  I try different things (as suggested by the hundreds of magazines I read) to fight the battle.  I change out the light bulbs in the main rooms of our house to the expensive bulbs that are supposed to be like sunlight.  I keep a regular bedtime and wake up time.  I make myself exercise.  I’ve cranked up the space heater in my office to HOT so I won’t be cold.  I give myself pedicures.  I’ve been known to use my tanning lotion to make it seem like summer.  I am serious with this battle.

I am happy to report that so far (knock on wood) the score is me 10, SAD 1.  I am winning the battle!  YAY!  I do realize I still have many weeks to go before I am out of the war zone, but I am going to keep my positive attitude and a bottle of tanning lotion on hand and I am going to fight it.

I am winning the battle of increased mileage in my running.  Yep!  This morning the temperature was 34 with a wind chill of 24.  I was out there.  I did my new 3.31 mile route and made my goal of under 36 minutes.  This is only the third time I’ve run this route. I set the first goal to be achievable and reasonable.  I was so proud to hit the stop button on my watch and see the time of 35:57.

I am ahead in the healthy eating battle.  I have a horrible sugar addiction and I am working hard to stop it.  I can’t say I’ve won that one yet, but I am ahead.  Thank goodness for dark chocolate mint Three Musketeers bars.

I am also ahead in my “stop farting around” battle of time management.  I spend far too much doing nothing.  I had to come up with a strategy and tools to help me in this battle and I’m gaining some ground.  I have to do lists and I have scheduled “farting around” time so that I’m not farting around throughout the day.  I am limiting farting around to certain times.  I’m pumped!

I’m on the path to victory in the attitude department too.  I have a particular area (OK, it’s work related) of my life that I have a really bad attitude about.  I am battling my own bad attitude and reaching out to do a better job and have a better attitude.  I’m ahead in that battle and it makes me feel good.

I still have battles I want to fight.  I’d love to eliminate all negative people from my life but if I did that I’d have to eliminate 95% of my husband’s family and I’m not sure he’d like that.  I’d love to lose that last 10 pounds I’ve been saying I’m going to lose for the past 4 years.  Maybe if I can stay ahead in the sugar battle, I might make some ground. I plan to battle the “stuff” we have accumulated over the past 7 years of living in this house.  We need to clear the clutter in the closets and attic.  That battle is on the horizon.

For someone who claims to be non competitive, I sure am feeling proud and arrogant about my little victories.

Excuses

It is cold.

It is still dark at 6 am.

When it is raining, my clothes get soaked and it is like carrying around 10 extra pounds.

When it is below freezing, the layers are bulky and it is hard to move.

I have made my nose raw from wiping the snot with my gloves.

I have a head cold, I need to rest.

It would be nice to just sleep in a day or so a week.

I seriously need new shoes. 

I haven’t had time to get new shoes.

My shoes are worn out.

My hypochondria is acting up.

The arthritis in my feet bothers me more now.

My back hurts.

My hamstrings have decided to shorten and get painfully tight.

I have other projects I need to work on in the mornings.

It just takes up so much time.

I’m getting older, I may cripple myself.

I have stress incontinence.

It takes so long to find my clothes and get dressed in the mornings.

I don’t feel like laying my clothes out at night.

Did I mention that I have arthritis in my feet?

Those are my excuses.

Starting last Monday, I added a half mile onto all my running routes.  And it feels damn good when I cross my finish line.

Running and The Cat

The day before Thanksgiving….What a good day!

I am looking forward to the holiday weekend.  Our home will be filled with kids and grandkids and even a parent or two.  I love to cook so I’ll be doing what I love as soon as I get finished working this morning.

I have not written about running in a while so today is about running.  We had a cold snap that has lasted a couple of weeks and it has been freezing and below every morning.  The first day it was below freezing, it took me a little while to get out the door for my morning run.  I have clothes for running in that kind of weather, but they were all packed away and I had to dig them out.  I can cover my entire body except my face.

I could cover my face, I have before.  The problem is my face leaks when I run.  My eyes leak battery acid and my nose leaks snot.  When I try to wear a warm face mask, it ends up freezing due to the snot. Frozen snot ice on the face is not warm at all.  I’m better off just toughing it out.

I’m sure my neighbors are reminded that I’m nuts as they see me out in the mornings walking my laps and running out on the highway.  One morning a lady told me she admired me for being so dedicated.  I told her not to admire me, I was not really dedicated, I am addicted.  I don’t want to not run.  I can’t not run.  If the opportunity is there, I’m going to do it.  No admiration necessary.

I had shaved a minute off my one mile time with the Chi posture in running.  However, the Chi posture takes a little more effort on my body’s part and I was fizzling out before I finished my 3 miles.  I have backed off my pace a bit these last two weeks to build my endurance.  I am still completing my 3 miles in 30 -31 minutes, which is a great improvement over my times 6 months ago.  I want to complete a 5K in 28 minutes.  My all time record for an offical 5K is 27:32 and that was almost 10 years ago.

I am a short person, I have a BMI that is too high, so I know I will never be a 6 minute miler.  That is just fine with me, I am not competing with anyone other than myself.  My goal of 28 minutes is fine with me and it will required pushing on my part. 

I have also kept up with my circuit training as prescribed by the personal painer, Josh.  I have an area set up in my garage for my workout and I’ve been doing it at least twice a week, sometimes 3 times a week.  You’d think I would weigh less than 100 pounds by now, but the chocolate and ice cream sabotage offset the calories burned with exercise.

This morning I did my circuit training.  I was laying on my exercise mat cussing Josh the trainer completing my bazillion crunches with weights in each hand while legs are raised when I heard crunching just under the SUV beside me.  I looked over and almost dropped the weights on my head.  The damn cat had a huge mole and was enjoying a feast of bloody guts and bones.  GGGRRROOSSSSSSSSSS!

I know that is what damn cats are supposed to do, but this one is getting ridiculous.  Every day, without fail, there are small headless animals left on our steps.  He is a meticulous killer.  He leaves his mark.  He puts the headless bodies on the welcome mat, like it is a serving mat of some sort.  He puts the heads on the steps.  Sometimes there is more than one body and more than one head.  We can play the match game – match the head to the body.

He eventually eats the body, leaving the internal organs he doesn’t like on the garage floor.  His favorite snack is squirrel and he does not eat the tails.  After my discovery this morning, I put the weights down and noticed two bushy squirrel tails beside the box with my resistence bands in it. 

No small animal or bird is safe.  He has brought in and feasted on squirrels, moles, a rat, snakes and mice.  If there is no water in the bird bath, he gets in it and waits patiently.  Up until last month, we saw a victim maybe once a month or so.  This everyday killing spree is new for the damn cat and for us.  We have learned to watch our step coming in and out of the house as we know if we step on something, it is going to be an aminal head.  We have to be extra careful when letting the damn cat in the house.  He has been known to sneak in quickly with his lunch in his mouth. 

So the damn cat has nothing to do with running.  To read more about the damn cat, check out his G-rated blog, www.thronemonkey.blogspot.com.  And whatever you do, don’t encourage him.

Home Cooking

I am enjoying being at home.  Right now, I am supposed to be on a flight to Omaha.  Because I have a glamorous job!  But instead I’m in my office, getting caught up on paperwork and such.  Banks are closed today, which gives me a day of almost no phone calls or emails.

I ran this morning.  I started a tracking spreadsheet of my exercise just because I wanted to.  I have asked/hinted for a new fangled GPS heart rate monitor thing for runners for Christmas.  I know I could do better if I would just DO IT.  I’m counting on the heart rate monitor to be my drill sargeant and tell me to speed my ass up. 

My hypochondria is bothering me again.  It has been several weeks since I’ve had to battle the usually-always-present backache.  It has returned.  I made myself agree to seeing the doctor this week.  I think it is all muscle related, such as I’m not stretching out enough, my hamstrings are tight and pulling on my back, I’m not stretching out the ass muscles, etc.  Muscle issues can be fixed by yoga and stretching out diligently after exercise.

But being a chronic hypochondriac, I can’t be too careful.  What if it is a bulging disc and I’m making it bulge more by running and stretching?  What if the bulging disc has a sharp edge and it starts slicing through my spinal cord?  Double yikes! So I am going to my family doc, who will refer me to somewhere else to get it checked out. 

Since it is getting close to Thanksgiving and I’m home, I am hankering to be Betty Crocker.  I want to try new recipes and cook really good things to eat.  Problem with that is my ever expanding self does not need all that really good stuff to eat.  My husband suggested cooking really good stuff and giving it to other people.  I could do that….maybe…as long as it wasn’t chocolate.

Fall all around

Fall is all around.  And I seem to be fitting right in with the season.

My business trip last week was to Kansas City and Topeka.  Yes, my job is glamorous.  I’ve only flown over Kansas, so I was looking forward to my trip in a curious kind of way.  I have spent a lot of time in Colorado and I expected Kansas, being a “Plains State” and all, to look much like Colorado.  What I found was Tennessee and Colorado got married and had a child and its name is Kansas.

Kansas is like Colorado in many ways.  It is flat with defined “hills”.  There are acres and acres of flat crop land.  But unlike Colorado and much like Tennessee, there are trees.  Not the scrubby trees in Colorado, but tall trees like in Tennessee. 

The leaves were starting to color a bit in Kansas and it was very pretty.  At least it was when I was not driving into the direct blinding searing glare of the setting sun.  I made up my mind last week that my next eye doctor visit will include prescription sunglasses.  I am old school, I use mapquest.  All my directions were printed out but I had to take off my sun glasses (OH! my eyes!) and put on my regular glasses to read the directions.  That got old after 2 days of being alternately blinded by the sun and blind because, well, I’m blind.

There are not many good thing to say about having a ginormously large nose, but I did find my nose to be quite helpful in Kansas last week.  With its extremely large size, it was possible for me to keep my regular glasses on and put my sunglasses on over them.  I am mortified happy to report my nose not only held both pair glasses with no problem, but there was still room for another pair had I chosen to fortify my sun protection with another pair of sunglasses.

I don’t like to go days with exercise, so I chose one evening to go for a nice run.  I stayed in the Overland Park area and the main road has a nice pedestrian path right along side.  I put on my running shoes and sunglasses and headed out.  I’m not sure what my issue was, there is always an issue with chronic hypochondria, but my run sucked.  My right knee started hurting at the onset of my run.  My left ankle still hurts from my unfortunate encounter with the pine cone weeks ago.  I felt like I weighed 50 pounds heavier than usual and it was just a miserable run. 

I ran about 15 minutes and turned around to start back.  On my way back, I noticed a street that went up a hill into a nice residential area.  I decided to take a detour and walk.  I walked up a very steep hill on a sidewalk through a lovely neighborhood.  The homes were all small one story ranch style houses that looked to have been built in the 60’s.  The yards were beautifully landscaped and well maintained.  Tasteful, subtle fall and Halloween decorations were out, none of the obnoxious 12 foot tall blow up shit from Walmart.  I enjoyed my walk and decided right then that if I ever had to relocate to Kansas City for my job, I would not be too mad.

The sun was going down and I still had a ways to go to get back to my hotel, so when I topped the hill I turned around to walk back.  Straight west.  Into the setting sun.  ARGH!  I was blinded.  Yes, there were trees that shaded most of my walk, but there were frequent spots where the blinding sun went through the trees to burn my corneas.  It was in one of these blinding areas that it happened.

I stepped on a freaking gumball, twisted my right ankle and fell flat on my ass on a strange sidewalk in a strange town where I knew no one.  ARGH.  ARGH.  ARGH.

I sat there for a few seconds completely stunned that it happened.  Now what?  The good news is that I knew immediately it was not hurt as badly as the pine cone ankle.  I took a few deep breaths and got up.  I could limp.  Great.  I limped my crippled ass all the way to my hotel, and that was long limp back.

I nursed the ankle a bit once in my room.  I spent the rest of my evening in a comfy chair watching mindless television.   I am relieved to report the gumball ankle is fine.  Can’t tell anything happened.  The pine cone ankle, however, is another story.  It still hurts.  I guess that’s OK as I need something to complain about or I will be disqualified as a chronic hypochondria patient.

Yes, it is Fall all around.  And I am doing my part to actively participate.