Alive, Well and Proud

Last night was the dreaded 5K in the heat.

All afternoon yesterday, I ran through all the good reasons I could not run last night.  The first on my list was economic.  The 5K event was an hour away.  Think of how much gas that would take!  I can’t afford a 140 mile round trip for a run!  Good grief, I can run on my street for free.

Second, the time involved.  An hour drive down, parking in downtown (another economic issue) finding the place, hanging out for at least 45 minutes before it starts, then the post race festivities and the long drive back.  That would take at least 5 hours to finish and I could just as easily run on my street and be done in less than an hour.

The third good reason was safety.  The race was in downtown Memphis, TN, which is rated as one of the highest in violent crimes in the US.  Hell, I might be shot getting out my car in the parking garage!  I don’t go to downtown Memphis alone, ever.  Too risky.

The fourth reason was my health.  I get up at 4:30 am on Fridays for a breakfast meeting.  I am usually very tired by 8 pm on Friday nights.  I was tired in the afternoon and thought it was stupid to consider staying up so late and I’d be so tired after the run and I’d still have that long drive home.  I was just too tired to do it.

The fifth reason was the Memphis reported its first heat related death of the year yesterday.  A 48 year old woman told her friend she was hot and the she just died.  YIKES!  I’m 48!  I get hot!  OK, I know this particular woman was morbidly obese, had diabetes and other health related problems plus she had serious heart disease, but still.  She was my age.

All afternoon I tried to talk myself out of going to the 5K.  I had reasons.  But then I thought about THE REAL REASON I didn’t want to go.  It was the fear of the heat.  I know it is not 100% rational.  I have to get past this fear, I refused to let this fear dictate my life.  Yes, it would cost a lot – the gas money, the parking, the time – but those costs were cheap compared to the therapy I might need in the future to get over this fear.  There would be a time investment, which is nothing compared to the time I’d spend on Dr. Phil’s couch.

I made myself go.  I put on my favorite upbeat country music CD (Confederate Railroad) and rolled the windows down and drove.

When I arrived in downtown Memphis, sure enough, parking was hassle, but I did it.  The race started at the fabulous Gibson Guitar Factory right behind the ever-lively Beale Street (Memphis’s version of Bourbon Street).  I was in awe of the number of runners!  As I looked around at the diverse crowd, I was proud to be there.  I am part of an elite group, we take exercise seriously and we put on our running shoes and WE RUN.  Whether we’re built to do it or not.

I walked with crowds of runners warming up.  My pride swelled.  I CAN do this!  And I also counted the number of ambulances and medical personnel on the scene.  That helped.  I hung close to a group as we all went through pre-race stretches.

The start line was at the top of Beale Street.  It was crowded, and when we started it was difficult to get going as there were so many people trying to GO.  As we ran down Beale Street, music blasted from the clubs and street bands, Beale Street partygoers cheered us on.  We ran all the way down Beale Street, past Coyote Ugly where burly bouncers shouted for us to come by after the race for a free beer.  Right!  Do you know what we are going to SMELL like when we are done?  Coyotes smell better.

After we left Beale Street, we wound around streets passing abandoned buildings and warehouses, not a street you would want to lost on if you were alone.  I was holding back, as I always do when I race.  There is a different adrenaline rush in a race.  Many runners don’t realize this, especially new runners.  You are PUMPED so you start out FAST and fizzle out before you finish.  I have learned to make myself run slow the first half of the race.

I typically run a 10 minute mile.  I passed the 1 mile mark at 10 minutes, 13 seconds, so I was doing well.  Except I was getting very hot and very scared.  I debated myself.  What should I do?  Suck it up and keep running and hyperventilate from fear or drop dead from heat stroke or should I just take it slow, listen to my body and do what I needed to do to be comfortable, yet challenged.

At 13 minutes, I stopped running.  I timed myself and ran my intervals, 2 minutes of running and 1 minute of walking.  I stopped at the second water station at the half way point, not for a drink, but to pour a cup of water on the back of my neck. I kept running intervals.  The problem I experience with intervals is stress incontinence, which my husband thinks is the most hysterical thing since flicking boogers.  When I stop and start, I experience the kind of stress incontinence that should require adult diapers.  But I don’t care.  I refuse to use that an excuse to not run.  I’ve dealt with it for 14 years of running and I don’t care.  I have a washer, I can wash my shorts.  And my socks and even my shoes when necessary.

I was dripping wet with sweat and other things.  Thank goodness everyone was sweating in the 97 degree heat index so my *ahem* accidents were not noticeable.

A side note about stress incontinence…what a great motivator!  If I don’t stop and start running, I don’t have a problem.  Sometimes the fact that I will piss in my pants is the motivation to keep running and not walk.  When life gives you lemons (or a bad bladder)….

I knew the last mile of the course would be the best.  I saved my energy because I wanted to run that last mile.  I reached the second mile mark at 22 minutes and 15 seconds.  On the last mile, we ran down a hill onto Riverside Drive, which wanders beside the beautiful, majestic and powerful Mississippi River.  The sun was just hanging over the river on its way down.  It was one of the most exhilarating and wonderful one mile stretches I have ever run!  I kept looking to the side to see as much of the river as I could take in.  At this point in the run, the fear left.  It was the last 1/2 mile.  My time was good for me.  The view, the camaraderie with the other runners, the feeling on the inside of my chest as I realized, I CAN DO THIS, it was worth every penny I spent and every second I used to get there.

The last 1/4 mile was straight up the bluff, a right turn at the top of Beale Street and back to the Gibson Guitar Factory.  I crossed the finish line at 33 minutes and 40 second.  My place card was number 347 female.  The nice guy that ran the last 1/2 mile with me was 507 male.  I’m not sure how many people ran the race, but I’m sure it was over 1000.  So out of at least 1000, I came in around 850th place.

Which for me, was one hell of an accomplishment.

I was soaking wet, I was breathing heavy, but I was done.  I was so full of pride!

I never found my friends after the race, there were just too many people there.  I searched the crowds at the finish line and up on the roof at the after party, but could not find them.  That was OK, though.  I did this for myself and the fact that I was alone the entire time did not matter.

I finished!  I beat the heat!  I am alive, well, and proud!

Tags: Running