I have a new fear.
It is new because up until last year, I did not have this fear. My new fear is heat.
I am cold natured. I am cold more than I am warm. I hate don’t care for air conditioning. But if I want to stay married, it is a necessity. I have always enjoyed the hot humid summers of the south. I have no problem working in the yard in August between the hours of 10 am and 2 pm. I like to sweat, it makes me warm.
My husband says I am the only person he knows that goes to the beach in the summer and needs a blanket. Well, Mr. Smarty Pants! It is not a blanket – it is a beach towel. And yes, I cover up with it because it gets cold laying on the beach, especially if a light tropical breeze is blowing.
Up until last year, I did 99% of my running in the late afternoon or evening. I usually ran when I got home from work, around 6:30 pm. On weekends I enjoyed mid-afternoon runs, which meant I was in the hot sun, sometimes with temps hovering around 100 and I was loving every minute of it.
There is a point when I am running in that kind of heat that my body will get a sudden chill. I can feel my skin actually get cold for moment and I get chill bumps. Sweat drips off my elbows and my clothes get soaking wet. And I love it! I feel strong and I have endurance.
I have an opinion about people who can’t tolerate the heat. In my parent’s heyday, air conditioning was a luxury item. Most people lived and worked in the heat and even though they were hot from time to time, they could stand it. As we as a population have become used to air conditioning, we got soft. Now we can’t stand the heat that our grandparents lived and worked in every day.
I know from personal experience that if I sit in AC all day and then go for a run in the heat, it is not as much fun. My body is used to being cool and groans about getting so hot. However, if I reduce my AC time during the day, it is not so hard for my body to adapt to the heat on a nice run.
Things changed last year. All my life I have enjoyed the heat, even the stifling heat most people complain about all summer. Last year our family experienced an unspeakable tragedy that could be attributed to extreme heat. I have not been the same since.
Right after the unspeakable event, my husband and I took our 3 young grandchildren on a bike ride to the park, something we do often. But this time was different. I was paranoid. What if they get too hot? Instead of packing up just a few sippy cups and cookies, I packed several water bottles, washcloths in ice water baggies and baggies of ice. Once we arrived at the park, I kept interupting their play to wipe them down with ice water wash cloths, which, by the way, they did not appreciate at all.
On our bike ride back, my fear grew. Are they too hot in the bike trailers? We stopped about 5 times on the 15 minutes bike ride so I could wipe them down, give them water they refused to drink and make sure they were OK. On the last half mile of the bike ride, which takes all of 3 minutes, the fear grew into panic. I pedaled as hard as I could to get the babies out of the heat, never mind that I was probably overheating ME by doing so.
My new fear was so strong it overtook my desire to run. I wasn’t so worried about passing out on the side of road during a run, my fear was dropping dead in the midst of a run. I struggled with this for over 2 weeks and I did not run. I wanted to run, I would put on my shoes and stand in my driveway, but my fear was greater than my determination.
I thought through my struggle and came up with a solution. I would just learn how to be a morning runner. I laid my running clothes out before I went to bed every night. When I got out of bed, before I had that first cup of coffee, I put on my running clothes. I allowed myself 2 cups of coffee and 20 minutes to prepare myself. And then I was out the door.
I usually walk a bit over a mile on my warm ups. The first half mile was not easy and I just groaned. By the time I was on the last half mile, I was ready to go! It took several weeks for my body to adjust to my new schedule, but once I was used to it, it was wonderful. It still is.
I find that morning runs energize me for the day. Evening runs always wiped me out. After an evening run, I usually cleaned up, ate dinner and spent the rest of the evening relaxing as that was all I felt like doing.
Part of my adjustment to morning runs was changing my meal times. I eat breakfast after I run, but I get hungry for lunch earlier than I used to. So I changed my lunch time to 11 am.
Morning runs are now my routine. When I am traveling, morning runs are more difficult, so I still get in the occassional evening run while on the road. Those runs are more difficult for me for several reasons. While on the road, my nutrition is not always as good as it should be and after spending all day either in the car or sitting in meetings, plus high heels, well, just not good running preparedness.
I’ve been running in the mornings for so long that I have put my fear in the back of mind. I haven’t thought about it in a long time. It all came back to me last night.
I am running in a 5K race with friends tomorrow at 7 pm. Since I have not done an evening run in months, I saved yesterday’s run for the evening. I stepped out at 6:15 pm. It was hot. The temp was in the mid 90’s and it was humid. I had a bottle of powerade with me, just in case. I started my 5K route.
At first I had to calm myself and my breathing as I became stressed right at the start. Yes, it was hot. My legs felt like someone strapped bricks to my hamstrings, I just felt so stiff. I felt extremely tired. I started sweating profusely. I reminded myself of how much I love running in the heat. It didn’t work.
I ran just over 8 minutes and stopped to walk for a couple of minutes. I sipped my powerade. I walked until I felt my heart rate slow down just a bit. I started running again. I could only run 2 minutes at a time. I was so hot, I was almost hyperventilating and most of all, I was scared shitless. I was scared of the heat.
I forced myself to run 2 minutes and walk 2 minutes to finish the 3 mile course. My final time was 35 minutes. Geesh. I don’t beat myself up when I have a less-than-stellar run so I’m over my bad time. But what do I do with this fear? I guess I can go the rest of my life and work around it, but I don’t want to be stifled by this.
I have had to overcome other fears in my lifetime and I’ve done it. But this one has me paralyzed right now. I have found myself thinking of all the good reasons I could skip the 5K with my friends tomorrow night, but actually the ONLY reason I don’t want to do it is my fear of the heat.
Why can’t I be like most girls and just be scared of snakes?
Tags: Running
